Random Pictures

Recently Isaiah and Emma (Charlie and Sydney's cousins) came with David's parents to Oregon. On one of these days I decided to try and put Sydney's hair in pig-tails, and I thought it was sooooo cute that I just HAD to post the pictures!

Theo's Birthday

Theo would have turned five this year. I thought for some reason that by the time five years had passed, things would just be easier. I though that maybe I wouldn't miss him as much. Or that maybe the giant hole in my heart wouldn't still feel so empty. I just wonder when I'm going to be able to think about him, and not feel as though I've been punched really hard in the stomach (only it's my heart that feels that way). I can't help but try and imagine what he would have been like if... if things had turned out differently. Would he have had a similar personality to one of my nephews, Jared or Cade? I always use Jared and Cade as a refference, because they were each born only a few weeks before Theo was. I see how those two boys are and how they're best friends. If Theo had been healthy and lived, what would it look like to see the three of them play together, have sleepovers, etc. etc.?

When will the battle in my mind end? When will I not have to fight back those same emotions. You know, those "it's not fair!" emotions. I wish it would have been in God's will to have created a perfect heart for Theo. I wish I hadn't developed severe preeclampcia (toxemia) during my pregnancy with him so that at least he would have been giving a fair chance at recovering from his surgery! I wish things had not gone the way they had! I know... all the wishing in the world can't change what is. So... once again, I'm trying to accept it.

I've stopped asking the question "why?"... there is not an answer in the world that would make Theo's death "worth it" anyway. It's difficult to describe all the conflicting emotions that go on inside of me during this time of the year... or whenever I think of Theo, really. Before March of this year, I would begin with thinking of Theo, wondering what he would be like if he were still alive and had been created healthy. Then my mind would wander over to the "it's not fair" thing. And it would end with me being angry at God. I felt so unloved by Him that it caused a wall to begin building between He and me.

There is a difference between the way things are this year and the way things were in the four previous years, though. The difference is that, although I'm still battling the same emotions, I'm letting God's comforting arms wrap around me. I've let go of my anger toward Him, because it's so lonely living my life without Him. I'm letting Him completely back into my life, and this... well, it's good.

On Theo's birthday (December 1st) we got our Christmas tree (just as we've done every year since his death). Here are some pics. They aren't the best, but usually I forget my camera altogether, so this is an improvement! Lol!

Below are some pictures of Charlie and Sydney picking out a toy from the the "Toy Shop", which is a little shed that the owners of the Christmas tree farmers put together for the kids that come to help pick out a tree with their parents. Each child gets to pick one toy to take home with them. I think it's such a special idea! Charlie picked out a gun, and Sydney picked out a little noise-making-bike.

In the above picture, Charlie had made his choice of a gun! (It actually looked quite real for being a toy.)

Another Charlie-ism

Lately Charlie's been talking more and more about monsters. A couple of weeks ago he said, "When I see a monster, mommy, I will run reawy (really) fast, right?" I asked him why, and he said, "Because monsters will try and get me." So I thought about it for a few seconds, and then I looked at him straight in the eyes, and said, "Charlie. If you ever see a monster, this is what you do." His attention was completely captured. "If you see a monster, or hear a monster, all you have to do is say, 'Go away in Jesus' Name!!'" I had him practice saying it a few times, and then we showed Daddy at dinner time. Over the past few weeks we've periodically asked him what he's suppose to say if he sees a monster. He always answers confidently (and loudly... lol) saying, "Go away in Jesus' name!" What can I say? I think Charlie is pretty excited about this new found phrase.

Well, earlier this week, one evening Charlie was looking out the window and mentioned monsters, so David asked him what he should say if he saw a monster. Charlie answered, "Daddy, I see monsters out the window, and I say, 'Go away in Jesus' name', and then the monsters run away reawwy reawwwy fast!" Then he squinted while he tried to make his voice sound as grown up as possible, "And then they go and eat worms and bugs and stuff." The look on his face told us that having to do that would be the worst punishment for anyone.

Our Recent Scare

Wednesday morning I got up, took out a pot, poured the appropriate amount of water and oatmeal in it, and turned the burner on high. Then I turned on the lights in the kitchen (it was a grey day) and also in the dining room. After a couple of seconds, the lights turned off - the electricity in our house was out.

For those of you who don't already know this, we've got MAJOR construction happening on our street right in front of our house. The electricity going out was just another frustrating part of the progression. David went down and asked the construction workers how long it would be before we had our power back. They said it would "...probably be a couple of hours." So we decided to go put some more piano lessons signs up around town. We spent the next couple of hours doing that. We took the kids to Carl's Jr. for lunch on our way home, and I thought, Wow! All these french fries... I'm going to have to make sure Charlie gets some fiber in his diet today... like, oatmeal. That's when I almost shouted, "OH NO!" David looked at me, wondering what the heck I was wrong. "I forgot to turn off the burner for the oatmeal before we left! What if they've turned the power back on!"

We RACED home, and as we drove up our road toward our driveway, a PGE truck was heading our way. We motioned him to stop and to roll down his window (nobody drives more than 10-15 mph because our road is all torn up). We asked him if he'd just now turned back on the power for the houses in the area, and he looked confused as he said, "Ummm, no... I turned it on a couple of hours ago."

We skidded down our driveway and up to our house! I jumped out of the car, and ran into a smoke-filled house. I could barely make out the objects right in front of me, and coughing all the way to the stove, I turned off the burner and ran the pot outside. I ran back into the house, and (again hacking uncontrollably) I began opening every single window and door in the house. I then went back outside, and deliver the news that there was miraculously no fire. My throat, however, was on fire for the rest of the day... and everything in the house (curtain, couches, rugs, walls, cupboards, clothing in our walk-in-closet, etc.) held the stench of smoke. Needless to say, I took the kids to my parents' house for the rest of the day while the house aired out.

So... when people say that "... construction is so annoying..." -- I know exactly what they're talking about!

Charlie Moments

Charlie's been saying some really funny things lately, so I thought I'd blog about them. Even just thinking about them makes me chuckle.

__________

Last weekend Charlie had had his cousins over for a sleep-over, and they'd watched Toy Story. Well, there's this part in that movie where Buzz Lightyear jumps off of Andy's bed in order to prove that he wasn't just a toy, but that he really was THE Buzz Lightyear. To prove it, he was going to show all the other toys that he could really fly. Now, right before he jumps off, he shouts, "To infinity and beyond!" Okay, so I was sitting on one end of the couch the other day, and Charlie was on the opposite end. He stands up, puts his arms up in the air (kind of like Superman), and shouts, "To be funny and BEYOND!"

__________

Today I was folding laundry on my bed when Charlie walked in with a tape-measurer. I asked him, "What are you doing, Charlie?"

He said mater-of-factly, "I'm measuring the bed."

I said, "Oh, okay." He continued to do just that. He measured the side, then the hight.

I asked, "How big is it?"

He smacked his lips (the way one does when trying to get a horse to start walking) and answered in as grown-up of a voice as he could, "Eight years old."

__________

Summer

Wow! What a busy summer this has been! It's weird that it's been so busy, but I can't exactly pinpoint WHY we've been so busy (lol... so sad!). But anyway... I thought I'd just post some pictures since I really don't have much to say.

Lately we've had lots and LOTS of stuff going on! No, I mean it! Here's what we've had going on in just the past WEEK: Last Tuesday I taught piano lessons from 4 to 6, and after that we had our last practice (after 3 MONTHS of rehearsals), Thursday we put on a performance of classical music for the family, friends and community. Also, David's parents came into town that day, and also my sister's family! Okay, so Friday was a juggle of spending time with my sister and getting ready for a birthday celebration with David's parents that evening. Also, David's sister's family arrived, and later that night his brother arrived! Saturday we went over to have "breakfast" at 11am with my parents and sister's family (David's parents went back home early in the morning). That same night we had another rehearsal to do! Sunday we went down to Silverton for my grandpa's 80th birthday party. Every Monday night we lead and host a Jus training meeting. Ummmm... yeah... this is what we've been doing.

Of course, all of this has happened in between Charlie and Sydney playing and playing and playing some more with all their cousins! It's been so cute, and I wish they could play with their cousins like this all the time! Talia and Jacob brought their kids' pool down with them, and Charlie's had an absolute BLAST playing in it! And he's also had soooooooooooooo much fun having Rebecca and Todd's kids to play with while they've been here! I don't think he'll know what to do with himself after they go home tomorrow... oh, he'll be so sad... and board!

Friday night we put our kids to bed at my parents' house (and then spent the evening playing Wii-bowling... so much fun!) Anyway, it was a wonderfully weird experience to wake up on Saturday morning to no crying, no changing diapers, no getting kids their breakfast, etc. We slept until we felt like getting up, got ready to leave, and then left. Simple. Easy. Quick. These are words I've almost forgotten the meanings of in regards to leaving the house (lol). Wow! What a blessing my parents have been to us!

So off to Seattle we went to visit Stephen. We had a blast! It was a really fun weekend!

Date with Mommy

Charlie was having a pretty sad day a couple of weeks ago, and so I decided to take him on a "date" to the mall. We went to one of his favorite places in the mall: the goldfish pond in the center of the mall. Then I took him up the escalator, and purchased some "dip-n-dots" for him. This was a new experience for him, and he charished every bight! He insisted on stopping, lounging on a bench, and people watching (lol)

Memorial Day Weekend

Our family went to Idaho for Memorial Day weekend (for 6 days!).  We had so much fun!  Part of the way there, I took my camera out to take a picture of Charlie and Sydney, and -- well, it was COMPLETELY out of battery!  Argh!  How did I miss that one?  I'm normally really good at remembering to recharge my camera the moment it says that it's low, but I missed it this time :-(   Anyway...

It was so relaxing to just BE on the expansive beauty of 160 acres of northern Idaho.  I mean, as we arrived we could feel all of the stressful cares of home melt off of our shoulders.  Imagine being on a prairie with slightly rolling grassy hills.  You look toward the north and north-east, and you're looking at a small mountain covered in evergreens.  You look toward the west and south-west, and you're gazing upon more green luscious plains that are far below you where cows, sheep and other such farm animals graze on delicious brilliant green grass.  It was so peaceful being there.

David and I had such a wonderful time reconnecting with his family.  I, as well, had some really good individual visits with Mary, Jessica, and Rebecca.  It felt so good to hear and share the ways God has been working in each of our lives!  Also, this was the first time Todd and Rebecca met their little niece, and I think they thought she was adorable!  (No partiality coming from me, of course... lol).

Oh, yeah!  And while we were visiting, I did Karaoke for the FIRST TIME EVER!!!  It was SOOOOOOOO fun!!!  Jessica and Darin had a Karaoke machine on loan from a friend of theirs, so we all sang!  Some of the song choices were hilariously inappropriate, but it made us all just die with laughter.  Everyone sang solos, and Stephen and David sang a couple of duets (including "California Girls" by The Beach Boys).  David and I also sang a duet, Jessica and Darin sang a couple of duets, and the little girls sang a TON of songs (they all have such beautiful voices).  We all had an absolute blast, and now I'm on the hunt for a karaoke machine (lol).

On Sunday we went up to Sandpoint to visit Talia and Jacob, Kayla and Patrick, and all 5 little boys.  It was so good to see them!  I had really good heart-to-heart talks with Talia and Kayla (I only cried ONCE about Theo, so that's not TOO bad), and Charlie got to hike to the river with Patrick and the other boys.  It was too short of a visit, though, I must say (only about 4 hours)... but I guess, as I've been told, "Be thankful for what little you have, and maybe more will come."  I suppose that applies here, although I cried on my way back from Sandpoint because I miss my sister so much (sigh).

All in all, we had a really great time in Idaho, and we can't wait until we're able to make another trip out there!

Moving

Well, as many of you already know, David and I are getting ready for yet ANOTHER move!  This one will be not as difficult, though, because we're just moving upstairs (lol).  So last week and this week we've been packing... and moving a few of our things upstairs.  The official move will happen this coming Saturday and Sunday, and I can't WAIT!!  I'm so excited to get to see daylight again!  As much as living in this daylight basement has been a true blessing, I'm thanking Him even more now knowing that we get to move upstairs!

I think my kids are starting to feel the impending change.  Today Charlie resisted pretty much everything I asked him to do.  I told him to stand near me in the grocery store and he did for maybe 5 seconds before walking half-way down the isle away from me.  I told him to get into his car seat, and he tried to climb into the trunk instead (I was in the middle of putting the groceries into the car).  I told him to go sit on the "naughty chair" for 3 minutes, and he'd say, "No... ONE minute," and then squint right at me in a challenging way.  Ooooo... today was NOT a good day for Charlie!  But... we all have those days, right?  Today was just one of those days for him (sigh).

Sydney on the other hand, was the perfect little angel today.  It's like they pass the baton back and forth to each other (LOL), because yesterday was her bad and whiny day.  Ah well...  This too shall pass, so I've heard :-)

Sydney's 1st Birthday!!!

One year ago today, I gave birth to my baby girl. I felt like celebrating today just because she'd survived her first year with ME as her mom (LOL). I'm just kidding! We went to Red Robin for dinner... just the four of us :-) It was nice. We ate dinner, and then our server brought out an ice cream sundae for her! They sang the birthday song, and she dove into her ice cream! Well, she dove into the whipped cream... handfuls! It was awesome, and hilarious to watch! All in all, it was a really great day :-)

A Family Drive

Yesterday I fed the kids breakfast, and then lunch, and then we all went for a drive.  Well, when Sydney eats sweet potatoes, she gets really lethargic and limp, and then she throws up.  Both times this has happened, sweet potatoes were a "right-before-bed" food, but by the next morning she would be completely back to her old self again.  Well, after she ate lunch yesterday (first time eating a fruit medley"), she started acting really limp and lethargic.  I thought maybe she was just tired, so we threw the kids in the car for a drive, and hoped that the car ride would put her to sleep.  About 10 minutes out, she threw up all over herself and the car seat!!  I still was thinking, "She didn't eat any sweet potatoes, so this must be a bug that she's caught from one of her cousins... dang it!"  We drove home, and after she snuggled with me for an hour, she got up and was back to being herself again.  Weird, huh?  There must have been something in that fruit medley that she hadn't had before and that she was allergic to... hmmm.

Because of the difficulty of trying to get the material off of that car seat two or three times in the past (when Charlie's spilled smoothie all over it when it was still HIS car seat), I refuse to do it this time!  I'd had it with that stupid car seat, and I would not take it apart again!  So... I splurged.  I took Charlie on a little outing last night, and we went on a hunt for a new car seat for Sydney.  We went to Target, Walmart, and finally ended up at Baby's 'R' Us.  I'm so happy with the car seat we ended up with!  It's pink, and has butterflies all over it!!!  I LOVE IT!!!  Yay for girls!

Blazers vs. 76ers

My mom and I went to a Blazer game last night, and it was the BEST GAME EVER!!!  Although, I must say that I believe we would have actually WON if the referees would have actually called things correctly!!  I'm serious!  It was bad call after bad call after bad call!  I'm still a bit peeved about it (huff and puff).  They kept calling fouls on our guys, when it CLEARLY was the apposing team who'd fouled OUR player.  It was pretty frustrating when it was the end of the fourth quarter, Portland: 96, Phili: 94... 20 seconds left on the clock... the whistle blows!  WHAT???  Our guy did NOT foul!!!  The 76er was TOTALLY charging!!!  They show the replay of it on the Jumbo-tron, and it's OBVIOUSLY a bad call.  Booing starts.  I mean it's LOUD, and it lasts (I'm not kidding you) about 3 full minutes!  I've never been to a game where the booing lasted that long.  We just kept booing and booing.  The Blazer coach (I can't remember his name) came immediately out to argue with the referee, but the ref. wouldn't change the call.  The booing just kept going and going and going!  The other team makes both free-throws, tying up the game.  (It was disheartening.)  The game went into overtime, and the 76ers won the game, 114 to 106.  SO disappointing, but a fun game to watch nonetheless ;-)

Pictures of the Kids

Decided to let his pet worm take a turn on the swing (lol):

TRUE Mommy-hood

All you moms will get a kick out of THIS story!  Yesterday I decided I was going to try and be productive (ha ha).  Yeah... We woke up, I made oatmeal-raisins-apples for breakfast.  Then I started a split pea and ham hawk soup.  Wow!  I was on a roll.  Well, that's when it all started happening.  I decided I would try and find the lost piece to a game we'd been playing, so I removed the couch cushions.  In doing that I realized what a mess had gathered under there, so I brought out the vacuum cleaner.  After vacuuming up the mess under there, I turned around to find a big blob of poop on the floor!  Yes... POOP!  I'd apparantly forgotted to change Sydney's diaper soon enough, so poop had squeezed out when she'd sat down on the floor.  So... I cleaned that up, and changed her diaper.  A diaper rash!  Oh no!  So I brought out the diaper rash cream (Desitin), finished changing her diaper, and left to go wash my hands.  I then came back to find that Charlie had found the Desitin and was rubbing THICK amounts of it all over his cheaks (no... not butt cheaks.  Facial cheaks!)  AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!   Quick!  To the bathroom we went.  "Don't touch ANTHING, Charlie."  "Otay... Mommy."  While cleaning him up, I hear a sound to the left of the sink.  Yes... Sydney was splashing around in the toilet!!!  "DAAAAVVVVIIIDDDD!!!!  HEEEELLLLLLPPPP!!!"

The Adventures of Charlie - Episode 5

The other day I was washing my dishes.  For those of you who don't know how my kitchen is set up... my sink is in a little separate area (almost a separate room) from the rest of the kitchen (stove, fridge, coutertop, etc.).  Anyway... so I was in that little room washing the dishes, and there were A LOT of dishes!  Well, when I was just about done with them, it dawned on me that maybe I should check on Charlie and Sydney.  So I went out of the little room, and what do you think I saw?  Well, I'll show you!

This where I was washing my HUGE pile of dishes (all by hand):

This is PART of what I saw (half-way through cleaning it up I decided to stop and take a couple of pictures):

Yes!  Charlie and Sydney had gotten into the freezer (what a brilliant idea to have the freezer on the BOTTOM of the fridge!  ummm... yeah).  They decided on pees... an ENTIRE BAG of them!  They pulled them out of the freezer and (I'm guessing) Charlie opened them somehow, and they scattered the entire bag of pees all over the livingroom and kitchen floors.  So when I came out of the little "sink room", I had quite the mess to clean up!  ARGH!!!  ;-)

Happenings

Lately David and I have been getting the little 9x11 ft. studio painted and re-carpeted.  I will be teaching beginner piano lessons in there (emphasis on BEGINNER... lol).  Anyway, I've still got some more painting to do, but it'll be fun!  I'll try to remember to take pictures of the progress from this point forward, because I've forgotten to take them so far... sorry about that.  Well, that's all I've got to report for now!

The Adventures of Charlie - Episode 4

Well, today was a funny one, and I wish I'd had a camera in my hand, but I unfortunately didn't.  Yes, Charlie was at it again!  This time I came around the corner and found that he'd gotten into my deodorant, and was using it as though it were chapstick!  AAAAAAHHHH!!!  What a trying time this is for me these days, but there's always a little humor in it as well.

The Adventures of Charlie - Episode 3

Earlier this week, I came into the living room.  Charlie had gotten into my purse and into my mascara and foundation.  Well, this is what I saw, and I thought I'd share it with all of you (LOL).

The Adventures of Charlie - Episode 2

Yesterday we took Charlie to a Burger King play place for the first time EVER.  Yeah... I know... he's almost three years old, and it's his first trip there (LOL).  Well, needless to say, he got SUPER excited when he saw the slides and all the tunnels!  We ate our meal first, and then we went out and let him play.  He was tentative at first, but David told me to "let him be... he's fine."  So I did.  Well, not too long after that, Charlie had made his way down the maze of tunnels above our heads, but was kind of confused... I think he felt trapped.  He started crying almost hysterically, and I was at a loss as to what to do.  Other mothers started to instruct their children to "... help Charlie find his way out.  He's the the little boy in the red shirt."  Well, about four "big kids" all responded immediately.  I could hear all their little voices saying, "Come on, Charlie... this way... gooood... follow me.  Come this way... now lets step down here..." all the while Charlie was crying as he followed them.  It was sooooooo cute, and those kids totally warmed my heart!  After making his way out of the tunnels and off the play structure, and after getting some mommy-comfort, Charlie went back to play with all of his new found friends!

Sydney's Status

Okay... so I think Sydney's been fussy partly because of teething, but also because she woke up yesterday morning with a pink rash on her stomach and back. Finally by evening I put two and two together. She had a fever for a few days, and as soon as that went away, she broke out in this rash. She's got Roseola! Well, webmd.com says that she'll have it for a couple of days, and then it'll go away... and she should feel better after that. I just feel so bad for her right now... poor Sydney :-(

Going-Ons

Our family is once again "on the mend". Yay! Sydney, however, is teething and appears to be in quite a bit of pain. Last night she woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep for TWO HOURS... and she cried the entire time she was awake. It was awful! So... today we purchased a teething homeopathic from New Seasons. David gave her some, and (although she's been struggling against her nap today) she conked right out... and slept for two and a half hours! I think we'll giver her some more before bed time. It definitely seems to be what's making her so fussy lately, and I'm happy to see her get some relief from the obvious pain she's in (sigh).

Well, we've had a pretty packed holiday season. It's been a good one, but really busy. David's concert went really well! He played several piano solos, and I actually sang in three of the six songs that were performed. Two of the songs that I sang in I had to do solos (yikes!), but they actually turned out okay. I was singing with some VERY talented singers, so it was really nerve wracking, exciting, intimidating, etc. to sing with them. But it was overall really fun!

Did I tell you all that I'm going to be teaching piano lessons? I'll be teaching beginners, so I anticipate that I'll get a LOT of little kids. It'll be work, I'm sure, but it'll also feel so good to be earning some extra income! I'm really excited about that :-) Anyway, David and I are going to be focused on marketing over this next month. We'll put up fliers, post signs, and we're asking everyone we know to please tell everyone they know about me. Anyway, my job will be to teach the basics to those that know nothing or very little about playing the piano. I'll be teaching a "prep course" for beginners, and they'll go on all the way through the first few grades of piano (which will take anywhere from one to three years, depending on the speed in which the student learns). After he/she has learned as much from me as I can teach him/her, my plan is to refer that student to an intermediate/advanced piano teachers (I have a few that I can recommend). So... please tell everyone you know about me... it'd be MUCH appreciated!

My Sickos

So... Charlie, Sydney, and David all have runny noses.  Sydney also has a fever, though.  I was up ALL night last night, because she wouldn't go to sleep unless I was actually holding her.  I just kept thinking, "If she gets some sleep, it will help her immune system to fight off whatever virus she's got... and it'll all be over... and then maybe I can get some sleep."  Now I find myself at the beginning of, possibly, another sleepless night (sigh).  I know all of you moms know exactly what it's like to feel a mixture of worry over your baby, and also feeling soooooo sleep deprived that you just want them to get better so that you can once again feel somewhat sane!

Cute Pictures of Our Kiddos

I know it's been a rather busy week for me, but I figured I could at least find time to post some cute pictures of my kids (along with a couple of pretty funny ones!), even if I don't have the time or the energy to write much.

I will say briefly, however, that our concert was very well received, and was an absolute blast to do! But I have no pictures of it as of yet... I'll go into that soon (I hope).